Poof!

And sooo. I pressed send afterall. Multiple times. Nothing came of it. Just like I knew it wouldn’t. just like nothing came of us. I spent so much energy trying to understand and be understood that I forgot what the message ever was. Forgot who I was. It’s amazing how I’m the culprit. The woman that went out of her way to make sure you ate and pushed her pride to the side to make sure you could enjoy life is the enemy.

That’s so dope.

I wanna live in that space. Where I did nothing wrong and everything was someone else’s fault. It must be fucking amazing to wake up in the morning and feeling like this was the easiest thing in the world to deal with. I wanna feel THAT shit.

More importantly, I don’t want to feel what it is that I’m feeling. Like a fucking fool that gave too much and received a “you asking for too much” in return. But that’s whats up. Sometimes it just be like that. Right? We get in these situations and they consume our everything until we’ve been fucking gobbled up in a heap of finger pointing and pseudo-confidences in our justifications.

And where am I now? In between putting the pieces back together while starting a new puzzle. The fuck am I thinking?

These bitchz be acting up and I aint in the mood to be the director of a new movie. I’m jst trying to watch a couple previews and see what happens.

What I wont do is watch this movie again. Ever. Note to u bitch: You never made anything easier for me. Don’t kid yourself. This is the worst breakup I’ve ever had. You need to grow up and understand that ignoring things do NOT make them go away.

But ignoring me will make me disappear.