Love in Limbo

The thing about newness is it's hard to stay new
Hard to stay fresh without looking used
Hard to stay me and add pieces of you
Hard to glow purple without some blues


I think my biggest fear isn't myself anymore. It's commitment, devotion, trusting that someone will do for me what I'd do for them. Going through all the motions just to find that the actions, feelings, thoughts, words, desires, needs weren't reciprocated. It's like this intense urge to know everything knowing full well that it's impossible. Wish I could fast forward into those 20 years and see what we've become. Impossible. So instead I just press play with half speed.

Right now, I am not following my heart. Or my pussy. I'm listening to personality #1, the rational chick. Ms. Know-it-all. She's even digging you with optimistically cautious open arms. But what does that mean??? Do I just let life be? Do what I want and say what I mean? No is her response because it's too soon. Then #2, the lover, chimes in and explains that matters of the heart have no sense of time.

Not falling in love with you is becoming a struggle I don't want to fight anymore.