There I go again
Hinting for her to come hither
Almost instinctively
Automatic even
I just see those baggy jeans
That hooded sweatshirt
It's like I lose all my home training
Only for an instant though
For a moment,
I am the whore my mother taught me not to be
I lust this stranger
Want her to sit next to me
Quiz me on my hobbies
Ask me what I'm doing tonight
Want my number
My bra size
Shoe size
I just want her
To want me
When she does, I'll shy away
I have home training
But within this moment
I desire her attention
A smile
A glance
Anything
Any slight hint that she wants me
At least wants me to want her
I thought I'd outgrown this
Selfish
Emotionless
Need
To feel desired
But time and again
I find myself
Comfortably hidden
In the depths of a masked insecurity
I've been acting confident for so long
I've even fooled myself
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